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b e l i e v e ♥
i love you as much as the stars.

Biography

calistafaithng 안녕~ i'm a 99-liner who hails from singapore. christian. proud soshibang stan ◕‿◕ bikbaeng sonyeoshidae biseuteu aepeuteoseukul tupiem pominit yukiseu miseuei syupeojunieo tuaeniwon bilasa tiara my second home, [katongconventprimary] ★ 《 s e m i h i a t u s 》 till 4th october。find me : Twitter Jailed/PA Twitter Tumblr Formspring

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Wishlist

Get into Nanyang Girls High/265.
iTouch/iPod/iPhone
See Kim Taeyeon
See Soshi twice
See After School twice
See 2NE1 twice
See T-ARA twice
See 4MINUTE
See BIGBANG twice thrice
See U-KISS twice thrice
See B2ST twice thrice 4 times
See BIGBANG twice thrice
See 2PM twice thrice 4 times
See B1A4 twice
See Super Junior
Super upclose interaction with idols B2ST
SS3 3D
Reply from idols on twitter Min
Korean Music Wave 2011
Korean Pop Night Concert 2010
Korean Pop Night Concert 2011
K-POP Heal The World Concert
 Mnet Ultimate Live!
Super Show 3
Super Show 4
B2ST The 1st Asia Tour Fanmeet
Fanservice from idols
U-KISS Neverland
Super Junior 5JIB MrSimple - Siwon Heechul Leeteuk Yesung

Bias list ♥

BIGBANG- KwonJiyong/GD
Girls'Generation- KimTaeyeon, TiffanyHwang, KimHyoyeon
B2ST- YangYoseob
AfterSchool- ParkKahi, RainaOh, BekahKim
2PM- OkTaecyeon
4MINUTE- HeoGayoon, KimHyunA, JeonJiyoon
U-KISS- EliKim, KevinWoo, ShinSoohyun, AJKim
missA- MinLee, BaeSuzy, FeiWang, JiaMeng
SuperJunior- ChoiSiwon, KimHeechul, ParkLeeteuk, KimYesung
2NE1- GongMinzy, DaraPark
B1A4- ShinDongwoo, JungJinyoung, ShikGongchan
T-ARA- ParkSoyeon, HamEunjung, ParkJiyeon, JeonBoram
TVXQ- ShimChangmin, ParkYoochun, JungYunho
Secret- HanSeonhwa, ZingerJeon, SongJieun
CNBLUE- KangMinhyuk, JungYonghwa
Sistar- KimHyorin, Bora
Pastentries

Are you sure you want to turn back the time and read about my past?

♥ September 2011
♥ October 2011


Creditorials

NEVER REMOVE THIS SECTION!

Layout Designer:
♥chocodiiction-lovesxoxo*
Others:
♥ ♥ ♥


Thursday, 8 September 2011


Life's not been very easy these days.

Times like these are when I really really miss my idols, especially Jiyong.

Sometimes, he's really what keeps me going. 

Love you bby~


Mum nagged at me a bit yesterday about my idols' obsession.

Actually, I think what she said is right. 

I need to stop living for my idols, stop letting them affect me because I am only a fan. 

So, this is going to be a wordy post, I'm going to do some self-reflection (:

"You're only a fan. You spend so much for idols, it's only August and you already spent so much on all your korean stars. Just beast alone, you spent close to $1000 for just ONE event"

Mum's words.

I think she's really right.

I can't agree anymore. I really spend alot for idols and they don't even know me.

They might remember me but so what, to them, as a fan, I'm just a star in the galaxy. Mum's right. She always is, that's something I can't deny.

Beast alone for one event, I spent almost $1000.

I've gone to the airport so many times to see my idols, the staff there recognize me. Mum brought me to Concorde Hotel some time ago for dinner and the security guard remember me from T-ARA and MBLAQ - Kpop Heal The World.

"Eh you again ah? Haha, this time which korean idol coming?"

"Haha, no la, I'm here for dinner. No korean idol coming leh!"

I think I pissed off Mum after that.

Dear mum, I'm sorry.

I know that I chase my idols alot. Just this year alone I've already spent more than $2000.

I'm sorry.

I really am.

I know that the only reason you still allow me to do all of this is because you want me to be happy.

I understand that you want to make me happy with this materialistic way because dad isn't around for us and you're out busy working so you can't spend time with me.

I'm thankful for that.

Really, I am. 

However, I want you to know that sometimes when you're in my position, being a fangirl can really be something that gives me instant ecstasy. 

Sometimes, because I don't spend enough time with you, I don't share my problems with you. But, having to live a life like mine is really really painful, it's just that I don't show it.

I'm thankful for all these years you've brought me up with your bare hands. Alone. 

I hope you understand that I am in fact trying to balance my chasing-idol time with my studies.

I'm really trying to do well.

No matter how much of a rebel I am, no matter how much I go against you, no matter how much I curse you secretly, get mad at you, swear in front of you, shout at you, throw tantrums at you, there is really a part of me inside that's telling me "Hey, do well. Do well for mum. Do her proud. Study hard, it'll do you good. Mum's never wrong.". I hope you can see that I've changed and I'm trying really very hard.

I hope you see the change in me.

At least, if it's not now, I hope you'll see it when I collect my results next month.

I hope you understand that I really work hard.

I'm not very good with my words, I don't want to beat around the bush.

But if I were to die tomorrow, if the world were to end tomorrow, and I had a chance to tell just one person one sentence, I just want to tell you "I'm thankful for you, I love you, Mum."


♥our lips must always be sealed
04:35